Remember how I said I spend too much time in my own head? Well, let this blog serve as a lesson as to why it’s good to come out from time to time. Since I’ve started letting you root through my underwear
drawer pile, I’ve told you things that I tend not to otherwise discuss; whether that’s because of nerves or the freedom to think things through, I don’t know. But I’ve let you all in to my brain, and let you see some of the (supposedly) unspeakable gibbering horrors that reside within the non-Euclidean halls of my psyche.
And you’ve responded with “hey, that looks familiar.”
Wow. Of all the things I expected and/or hoped for when I started this blog, that was not one of them. I expected to have this place to vent, to pontificate, to help sort out what makes me tick. Because I’ve always felt slightly apart, going through a world where “normal” didn’t always describe me. Even given how connected we can be today with modern technology, the mind can be a lonely, empty place filled with echoes.
Even if this blog doesn’t reach much further than my family and friends, I’m starting to realize that I’m not the only one who feels and thinks the way I do. What I’ve come to call my “neuroses” are not the random result of something I’ve done wrong, or something I’ve gotten hung up on. They are legitimate ways a mind can work. Case in point, my writing style. I always worried that I was a procrastinator or a slacker for not writing the “normal” way. But knowing that someone else has faced the same issues is amazingly comforting.
With one data point (me) and an admittedly biased observer (again, me), it’s nigh impossible to tell what is an outlier and what fits an existing trend. And let me tell you, those echoes in your head can start to say some pretty weird things. And since they’re coming from inside, they must know what’s up, right? After all, they’re as close to you as you are (being a part, and all), and close observation is always best, right?
Yeah, not really.
On a related note, I am reading the comments, even if I don’t respond. They have been extremely helpful in drowning out some of the echoes in here. If you ask questions, or it looks like you want to start a discussion, I will do my best to respond. If not, hopefully you too can take solace in the fact that there’s someone else out there with neurotic echoes in their head that may just sound an awful lot like home.