I think I managed to avoid a Funk yesterday.
Yesterday was a Monday, with all that entails. I was at work, after having just spent a nice, relaxing weekend with friends. I was running on much less sleep than I prefer. I had packed a lighter-than-preferred lunch and snack, as I had not gone shopping before the weekend. I was working in a different department than usual, without any help. So I was tired, hungry, and not in the greatest mood to start.
I could feel a Funk approaching.
It was surprisingly seductive. “Come into the darkness,” it said. “You won’t feel stress, or annoyance, or pain. All you have to do is feel nothing at all.”
I could feel myself slipping. I tried to resist, but holding on was taking precious energy from already-taxed systems. What the Funk said was true: some things would be easier without feeling. But I didn’t want to do that, even for a little, because I couldn’t know how long it would take me to crawl my way back out.
In the end, though, I think I may have succeeded. I’m still tired, but the fatigue clouding my mind lacks the bleakness of depression. But my state of mind is still fragile, so I’m trying to shore it up however I can. I’m finally getting a small buffer back for my blog, which is something I’ve been meaning to do for the past two weeks. Finally being able to do so is boosting my mood; I can feel it increasing even as I write. I don’t have a day off until Friday, but I’ll try to get to bed early tonight; maybe that will help as well.
It will be interesting to see if I end up being successful. If I’m not, the failure to prevent a Funk may paradoxically cause a Funk, but that’s a risk I’m going to have to take. I’ve got a lifeline, and I’m going to hold on to it as hard as I can.