A funny thing happened to me yesterday. My girlfriend and I were visiting her parents in celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary. I was running something back out to the car when who should I run into but one of my professors from grad school. It turns out his in-laws live in the same community. Small world, huh?

There’s more to this story, of course. After all, I can’t just write about an amusing anecdote without some sort of psychological baggage, can I? Well, this wasn’t just any old professor of mine. He’s also the internship coordinator for the entire architecture school. One of his jobs is making sure his students can get their careers going as quickly and easily as possible.

So of course, he asks what I’ve been up to since I’ve graduated.

Seeing as I’m an honest person (and he’s the kind of person that would draw honesty out even if I wasn’t), I tell him. I tell him that I’ve been working retail, keeping the bills paid, but I don’t really have any prospects in the architecture field right now. According to him, however, the market is picking back up. He suggested I contact him, set up an appointment to go over my options and opportunities. I took his card, and said I would indeed follow up.

Why does the universe take such perverse pride in ripping open old wounds?

I’ll admit, I’ve basically written off architecture at this point. Heck, on the bad days I wonder if I’ll ever make it out of retail. I’ve tried to get out, as so far every attempt and interview has failed (obviously, or I’d have moved on). So a large part of me had given up, since there’s only so many times your hopes can be crushed (or slowly eroded) before you move on in an attempt to save what dignity and positivity you have left.

But running into my professor, especially that professor, forced me to reconsider my declaration of defeat. Is there a chance that I can still get a job in architecture, even with my skills as rusty as they’ve become? I’d like to hope so. Is architecture something I still want to do? Well, I’d like it if my $38,000 graduate degree wasn’t a complete waste of time, money, and energy. Am I ready for what’s likely to be, given my previous experience up to this point, round after round of rejection? I don’t know.

Needless to say, I’ve got a lot of complicated feels stampeding through my psyche right now. I’m going to meet with my professor, of course. I just need to work up the courage to do so. After all (famous last words), what’s the worst that could happen?

P.S.: Sorry there wasn’t a post yesterday. What with the anniversary party, decompressing after a long week of work, and getting home in time to watch Agents of SHIELD, it was around 8h30 before I realized I had forgotten to write. Oh well. Even if it doesn’t matter to you, reader, consider this an apology to myself. And hey, at least I’m not opening this entry with an apology! That’s an improvement, right?