The temporal disconnect of having a buffer is getting to me again. As I write this, it’s Friday afternoon. I’ve just finished working seven days in a row, staying longer than I expected to for several of those days. I’m tired, burned out, and not feeling like doing much of anything, let alone going to an SCA event over the weekend. By the time this entry gets posted on Monday, I will have managed to sleep in, been to said event, and will presumably be in a much better mood than I am/was on Friday. So what kind of post to I go for? Do I go for an attempt at a happy, well-rested mindset, where I have the brain power to spare to address pertinent issues or subjects that fascinate me? Or do I go for a more morose tone, one that reflects the fatigue of a long work week and the lack of motivation? One wouldn’t be applicable on the day it’s written, while the other wouldn’t be applicable on the day it’s posted.
Truly, this is a conundrum for the ages.
Usually, there’s not as much of a disconnect between when I write and when I post. Sure, a day or two may pass, for example when I blog about my experiences at that week’s fighter practice. But I assume what readers I have can deal with that dissonance; it’s not like I’m blogging about hot-off-the-presses news or bleeding-edge technology developments, after all.
Maybe that’s what’s confusing me: I’m once again thinking about this blog from a reader’s perspective, rather than my own writer’s viewpoint. I keep coming back to the question of who I’m actually writing for. I’ll admit I’m enough of a
narcissist human that I get a small thrill out of seeing that people have read the things I write. If I didn’t care about that at all, I wouldn’t be sharing my writing, now would I? But I am, so on some level I do care what other people think. But at the same time, I can’t let that dictate what I can and can’t write about (not that I’m saying that happens in the slightest). This blog is supposed to be an outlet, a project that can both be fun and helpful. That’s not to say it isn’t a commitment; I do try very hard to at least post something every day. But there’s a difference between a commitment and an obligation. And the last thing I want is for blogging to become an obligation. That’s where projects go to die.
Hopefully these musings were more fun than scrolling through a hundred copies of “I don’t know what to write today.” But I’d be remiss if I didn’t attempt to address the temporal disconnect. So here we go:
FRIDAY: “Blargh, I’m tired. I need a day off, where I can just sleep in and not even bother getting dressed. Even packing up the car is too much of a chore. I don’t even know if I’m going to have enough energy to fight in any tournaments this weekend, let alone all of them.”
MONDAY (predicted): “Well, I’m feeling a bit more rested. I’m tired, but I ended up having fun at the event. I’m in a pretty good mood, all things considered. Happy Memorial Day!”