As I touched on briefly last Friday, it has been about one year since I started blogging here. And now that I have more time (and successfully avoided channeling my inner lobster at the water park), I’d like to take some time and reflect.
When I started this blog, I was in a bad place. I was depressed, I was fed up with my retail job, and I needed an outlet. I’ve toyed with the idea of writing for years, but nothing really ever came of it. Sure, I’d done some creative writing in college. I even tried making a tabletop RPG setting based on one of my story ideas. But nothing really ever came of my endeavors. I’d write “someday,” I kept telling myself. And as many of us know, “someday” has a way of never coming.
So for whatever reason, I decided to finally do something. It was easy enough, since I already had a web server for my design portfolio; all I had to do was set up a subdomain and a separate WordPress installation. Before I knew it, I had a blog!
I’ll admit, it took me a few days to work up the courage to tell people about it. I spent about a week posting things on my own before I announced my efforts to the world (or at least my friends and family on Facebook). Anyone who has worked up the courage to show their work (creative or otherwise) to others knows how terrifying this can be. And this blog was no exception.
I didn’t really have much of a goal when I started. Sure, I wanted to have a platform to share the profound thoughts that raced through my head. Those early days were quite heady, filled with infinite possibilities. But really, my only goal from the start was simple: write regularly.
It hasn’t always been easy. There have been days (far too many, for my liking) where I had no idea what to say, whether because of fatigue or just laziness I found myself not wanting to write. And yet, I still wrote on most of those days, even if it was just a note to say “I’m not writing today.”
And I guess that’s the most important thing for me: following through. I have a ton of projects that I’ve started and then let fall by the wayside for whatever reason. Writing. Music. Sketching. Programming. Learning. They accumulate in my subconscious, like dust bunnies hiding razor shards of broken glass, waiting to ensnare the questing hand. I was worried that blogging would just end up one more thing for me to feel guilty about.
And yet here I am, 278 posts later, still going strong. The job that drove me to despair is about to be a thing of the past, and I’m finally going to be able to use my degree. For the first time, I can see the welcoming specter of a career on the horizon. Things are looking up. And while I’m sure there will inevitably be changes (what will I summon the Drama Llama for when I’m actually happy?), I hope to be able to continue blogging.
Here’s to the future.