I’m sure most of you saw my big announcement yesterday (TLDR: I found a new job in my degree field). I’m still excited, except now the reality of the situation has started to sink in. And I’ve realized that in order to start my new job, I need to quit my old one. Which means giving two weeks notice.

And we fear change.

Now, I have an overactive imagination. Which means I’ve spent the last day or so thinking of ways that giving my notice could go horribly wrong. No, that’s not quite right. I’ve spent the past year or so fantasizing about giving my two weeks notice, but now that I actually have to, I’m getting nervous.

See, I’ve never actually had to give notice at a job. I left my first big job out of college by taking a voluntary severance package. My grad school job was a student worker position, and thus I left when I was no longer a student. But this job, my current retail servitude, hasn’t given me an easy out.

What am I worried about? Well, I might be fired on the spot (unlikely, I know). My boss might get pissed off and make my last two weeks a living hell. Or I might just be mildly uncomfortable as I hand in my resignation letter to my boss under their disappointing gaze. Or it might be a complete non-issue, the trading of one basic retail grunt for another. The situation is made even more awkward (for me) because my boss mentioned that they’re about to get started on my annual performance review. Irony!

And remember what I said about fearing change? Well, now that I’m leaving, I find that a part of me paradoxically wants to stay. Sure, I may hate my job. It’s made me work at ungodly hours and during times when I’ve told them I’m unavailable. But it’s comfortable, a known quantity. I know how to do the work; what if I fail miserably at being a drafter? Again, I know these thoughts aren’t completely rational, and it does help to know that apparently I’m not alone in feeling this way.

What am I going to do about this? Well, I’m going to go into work a bit early today, and see if I can have a chat with my manager before my shift starts. I’m trying not to think too much about it, since I’ll probably just succeed in freaking myself out more. But I’ve got a short, sweet resignation letter. I plan to be the consummate professional; when asked why I’m leaving, I’ll let them know that I’ve found a job in my degree field. I won’t even mention the schedule chicanery.

If I get an exit interview, then all bets are off.