I haven’t been back to Costco since I stopped working there. Not unusual, I know, but somewhat problematic. For you see, I still have a pair of glasses to pick up.

Before I left, I took advantage of one of my benefits, which gave me a stipend to spend at the optical center. Seeing as it had been far too long since I last got my eyes checked, I decided to take advantage of it. My old glasses were getting noticeably scratched, and I was guessing that my prescription had shifted slightly in the intervening years.

Long story short, one pair of glasses ended up not using all of my stipend, so I decided to get a pair for close/computer work. Not that I really needed them, but I figured I could keep them at my new desk, since my new job involves a lot more (read: most of the day) screen time. I was hoping that both pairs would be ready before my last day, but unfortunately only one of them was. Luckily it was the regular/multipurpose pair, so I could get used to those before I visited the home office. The computer pair didn’t arrive until late last week.

And yet, I can’t bring myself to go get them. I even set out to do so on Monday, going so far as to go out of my way and drive by the Costco on my way home. But I couldn’t make myself go to the store.

It’s not that I’ve got any horrible memories or PTSD associated with working at Costco. No, I think it’s more the fact that I don’t really want to interact with my former coworkers. And not because they were bad people. If anything, the fact that they were nice makes it that much more difficult.

I don’t want to go through the motions of the small social niceties that will inevitably come up. You know, the questions about the new job, how I’m enjoying it, et cetera. It may sound bad, but while I did work with some good people, I’d like to put working at Costco behind me as quickly as possible. I want to move on, not be reminded about having to get up at 4am or not being able to go to fighter practice.

I don’t know what to do. Sooner or later I’m going to have to suck it up and go back in there. Maybe I’ll have the energy to do so tomorrow. But as childish as it sounds, I don’t wanna.