A Little Bit Better

I’ll admit it, I freaked out a bit yesterday. Caught between a rock and a hard place, I wasn’t sure whether it was best to stick up for myself and call in “sick (of work)”, or to just suck it up and miss practice. I ended up deciding to go to work. While it may make my availability seem more negotiable, it seemed more like the right (or at least less wrong) thing to do.

I don’t usually freak out like that. I’m guessing it was just the combination of stress: not being able to go to practice, not getting the job, and the unpleasant surprise of my student loan payments. So of course, while I’m in the process of freaking out, I’m also trying to figure out why I was freaking out. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. I haven’t gone back to read it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if yesterday’s post was even less coherent than usual.

Shortly after this freakout, I remembered (although it did take some gentle reminding) that I hadn’t taken any St. John’s Wort yet that day. Normally, I take it on my way out to work in the morning, but like any time-based habit, I often forget to do so if my schedule changes. So I took some, and while I can’t rule out a psychosomatic effect, I started to feel better within a few minutes. I wasn’t necessarily any happier about missing practice, but I managed to stop brooding over what I was going to do.

I know this is a short post, but I wanted to at least touch base and let people know I was doing better. If nothing else, the events of yesterday reminded me that yes, the St. John’s Wort really does help, as well as reminding me why I need to find a better job. The search hasn’t progressed much, I’ll admit, although I have at least been trying to see to my mental health (read: I managed to beat Riven). And that’s important too.

Tomorrow’s a holiday, so I likely won’t post anything. We’ll be headed to an event, and with how late I get off work, there won’t be much time to prepare until the evening or tomorrow morning. So have a good weekend, and be sure to keep all of your fingers intact.