I don’t have much to say today. But I haven’t been posting much recently, so it’s important for me to get back into the swing of things.
Why haven’t I been posting as consistently as I’d like? Well, I do have a few excuses. Wednesday I ended up working on re-edging my shield all afternoon, and time just got away from me. I was even late to fighter practice, but I went anyway (and was of course glad I did). Friday, however, I don’t have as good a reason for. I was scheduled to work a closing shift, which started at the time my usual morning shifts end. Needless to say, it completely messed up my flow. I ended up spending the morning at my computer, catching up on a few days’ worth of Tumblr posts. Then it was time to shower. Then it was time to get dressed. Then it was time to eat lunch. Then it was time to pack a dinner. Then it was time to go to work. Then it was after 10pm, and, well, you get the idea.
So yeah. I skipped two days yesterday; one by accident, and one semi-intentionally. But I don’t feel too bad about it, or at least I’m not beating myself up too much for it. These things happen, and occasionally blogging may have to take a back seat to the rest of life.
Does that sound like I’m rationalizing? I might be. Oh well.
One other thing I realized right before I sat down to write this entry is that my periods of “I don’t have anything to say” become more frequent when I feel more pressure to write for someone else. When my writing isn’t just for me (as much as a publicly-posted journal can be), I feel the need to be profound. To be witty. To be interesting. And that affects what I feel comfortable writing about.
This can be the start of a vicious cycle, in where I do a “nothing to say” post at the last minute, then feel bad for doing so, which leaves me even more creatively blocked for the next day, and so on, and so forth. Which is why I try hard to remember the importance of just writing, even if it’s crap. Probably especially when it’s crap.
If I was smart, I’d set things up such that my crap writing never sees the light of day. But that’s not what I’ve done here, and it would be hard to do so unless I dedicated more time to writing. And maybe I should. But I’m still at the stage where I feel everything should be useful, where I want to avoid work for work’s sake (also known as practice). I know that’s not a sustainable place to be, but it’s where I’m at. And with my other hobbies, and with how tired my job usually leaves me, it’s hard to go any further right now.
So what was the purpose of this post? Nothing, besides making sure I get something written. It’s crap, I’m sure, but I’m already feeling better. More awake. More motivated. More willing to do something for dinner besides microwave a sad burrito.
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